Today I went to my church’s 8th anniversary. It was a western theme with a chili cook off and pie contest. The food was awesome. They even had country line dance lessons. I participated in that as well, mainly because I felt bad that no one else was volunteering. I really enjoyed myself even though I had that huge tugging on my heart of wishing I had someone to share that with. As I walked around getting mango flavored Italian Cream Sodas and pink cotton candy, I couldn’t help but notice all the VERY pregnant women. There was at least 4 pregnant women all within weeks due of one another. I was sitting at a table with a woman who had an 11 month old son. As I watched her interact with him, it started to make me wish I could fast forward my life a few years and be married with another child. Then I held Fiona whom is only 3 months old. She’s the daughter of our church’s children ministry director. I haven’t held a baby since my son was a baby. That was nearly 5 years ago. My biological clock is definitely high strung. It seems to be in overdrive lately.
I’m even rubbing off on my friend Amara, whom up until I spoke to her about my dating experiences was fine with just being single. Now she has come to realize how much she yearns to be with someone. (I’m a terrible influence I suppose.)
We sat and talked about potential dates from Okcupid. I am excited for her that she has decided to try it out. She had signed up with the evil eHarmony last month and has been very discouraged and disappointed with that site so far. I have been a member of Okcupid since May 2007 and have only met one person from it so far. (Warning: I’m about to break my own rules. To heck with my jinxing potentials. I’m gonna talk about them dammit). I told her how I am talking with a man from Oregon right now. When he first approached me on the site and I saw he was in OR, I pretty much had already made up my mind that that was too far but he was cute so I would correspond with him and become his friend. Actually I’m not even 100% sure he is even interested in me. Perhaps he only viewed me as someone he would want to befriend with even that first day.
Anyhow, a few nights ago (the bawling in my closet incident) I decided to hop on Okcupid and message him. I just really needed someone to talk to. He wasn’t online but I sent him a message and immediately after sending it he appeared online. We talked for over an hour through messages. He made me feel so much better. He encouraged me and I walked away feeling uplifted and light hearted. Of course the awesome part is that he is spiritually on the same page as I am. I was never open to the idea of getting involved in another long distance relationship. I tried that with a man in Chicago and it just didn’t work out too well. but with this man…I dunno. I am drawn to him like a moth to a flame. I believe God brings people in your life for a reason. Maybe this man was only to be in my life for a short time to encourage me on that lonely evening. Or maybe God has a bigger plan for him entering my life.
I’m praying daily to leave my life in God’s capable hands.
I also started taking a supplement my mom sells and swears by. More on that another day.
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