I don’t want to jump the gun and its hard to not start planning out how things will go upon a first date. I do the things that most women do when they first start talking with someone new online. You know, you imagine coming home to him, you can imagine his face when he proposes to you and lays that big fat rock on your hand to announce to the world that you are off the market permanently. You imagine being pregnant with his child and shopping for your first home together.
I have been talking with Jeff, whom I met off of POF, for about a week now. I like him. There’s no denying it. We have yet to meet but from what I have learned from him, he has a lot of qualities I find very attractive. I think he will make a great father some day too. I think we could get along great and just be very happy. I’ve been thinking about what a future could be like with him but the thing I cannot break away from is the religious differences. I have purposely tried to bring up God in a casual manner like “I’ve just been asking God to help with this or that” and he just seems to listen with no remark on it. I do not know for certain if he even believes in God. I know that is something I cannot compromise on. I can deal with someone that maybe doesn’t feel like he is all that connected to God but still believes in Him. But I am pretty certain I could not be with someone that is an atheist. Even though DE is an atheist and an alcoholic, I have found myself attracted to his many other qualities and sometimes felt that if we ever got together that maybe I could overlook the atheist thing but deep down I would be fooling myself.
Patti has said numerous times that religion is not something you can compromise on and when matching she does her best to make sure the two are compatible on that plane. I am breaking her rules about even giving your phone number to a man that does not have your must-haves. Seeing how my #1 on my list was he must be a Christian, I am deliberately not following Patti’s advice. It’s hard. He seems like a good match. of course all of this is just happy-go-lucky images in my head. It may be another story at a face to face meeting. Maybe he wouldn’t be attracted to me or I wouldn’t be attracted to him and then all this confusion and imagining would be for nothing.
As I sit here, freezing to death at my desk while it pours like cats and dogs outside my gut feeling is telling me “Don’t do it. Break away before you get attached.” I don’t want to listen to the voice but I guess I will never know where he stands with God until I just ask him. Of course Patti suggests not to talk about religion right away so I need to find a subtle way to find out the answer to this.
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