I was getting nervous about meeting Shawn. He called me when he was about 20 minutes away and this was actually the very first time we spoke on the phone. His voice sounded just as I imagined it would. He arrived at my door with a bouquet of flowers in hand! I was shocked! The crazy thing is that he chose a bouquet that happened to have my favorite flower in them, star gazer lilies even though I never even told him prior to meeting that those were my favorite flowers!

We then made our way to the nice shopping center and went to a frozen yogurt shop called Yogurtland and made our frozen yogurt concoctions and then took them outside to find a table to sit down and talk. It was really warm outside but a slight breeze was coming in so we went from sweating seconds earlier to just right. We found a quiet table away from the busy center of the shopping center that was filled with teens and families. We sat and talked for hours. I thought he was attractive but the more we talked he kept getting more and more attractive to me!

At one point it began to rain sprinkle so he moved our table under a tree to keep me dry. At that point the serious discussion about kids came up. I knew he had 2 boys already so I had to find out his stand on the idea of more children. He started off saying that he would love to have more kids but unfortunately he can’t because he had a vasectomy. I asked if he wold be open to having it reversed and he said that with the right woman, he would have it reversed. He said that he would take out a loan or whatever to have it reversed if necessary. As we started walking back towards the car he asked me if that was a deal breaker. I told him “Well, I certainly wouldn’t write you off for this because you said you are open to having it reversed.”

So then he took me home and walked me to the door. We chatted a few more minutes outside on the step and then we hugged goodbye and I told him we would chat tomorrow and he said “Oh yea definitely”. About 15 minutes later I received a text “I didn’t want to put you on the spot infront of me but what did you think about me?” I told him “I am interested in knowing you more, if you feel the same.” He said “I do. You are an awesome woman.” We exchanged a few more texts about how nice the evening was and then said goodnight.

Saturday morning and afternoon we text messaged in between our busy activities. Later on in the evening I received a message from him that said “When can I see you again?” I asked if he had his sons and he said they went to a sleep over party. So I asked if he wanted to get together in about an hour. He said “Of course” so he picked me up at 8:30pm and I happened to be in the bathroom touching up my hair when he knocked on the door and my dad answered it. At that point my son raced to the door to see who it was and greeted Shawn. I gave Shawn a hug and then introduced him to my sister and nephew that were in town visiting and my mom.

We ended up going for a long drive across town. He showed me the church his dad pastored at, the highschool he went to and then we hit the local Starbucks. We got our coffee and sat outside and chatted for awhile. It was nice but then the wind picked up and I got cold. So he drove me home and we sat in the car talking for another hour or so. He then walked me to the door and hugged me goodbye. No kiss but that’s ok. I would rather it be the right moment rather then something he felt he had to do.

I am going to be gone next weekend for a women’s retreat so I won’t be able to see him until 2 weeks from now. But we did text today and he said that in 2 weeks he would love to come to church with me. That should be nice!

He had to drive back home today which is a 2 1/2 hour drive for him from where I live and when he arrived he told me “I am so tired. Gonna hit the sack. Goodnight hun. I miss you already”. *swoon*

So the plan is that Shawn is going to pick me up and I had asked him if he likes people. Well, specifically does he mind crowds. He said “No, I don’t mind them at all.” So I said do you feel uncomfortable coming to the door and possibly saying hi to my family that’s here. My 16 year old nephew and sister will be in town and chances are my nephew is going to embarrass me and probably beat me to answer the door etc. He said “I have no problem at all meeting your family”.

Really???? You don’t mind? I am shocked!

He asked why was I so shocked. “Is that not what men do on dates?” Now you have to understand that I am the first woman Shawn will have met from a dating site. He has only met women through church or through friends before.

No, men never do that. They are always like “let’s meet for coffee” or “let’s meet for a drink”.

“Guys today have no class. I was raised old school by my dad and I sometimes spent summers with my uncle in FL and he also instilled in me manners and how to treat women. When he married my aunt, he even had me opening the doors for her”.

Shawn continues to amaze me and attract me more and more. I am not in the habit of having my son meet the men I go out with but hopefully my son doesn’t even pay attention to the door or the fact that I am walking out of it. If he does notice, then Shawn will be introduced as my friend just as I will introduce him that way to my family as well.

I am so darn excited and I haven’t been this excited about meeting someone in a long time. I am hoping he truly is different that most of the men I have encountered. Stay tuned for my date follow-up post!

Day 11
Matches received: 9
Matches I closed: 8
Matches I contacted: 1
Matches that initiated contact with me: 1

Notes:

The man that contacted me was 39 and had only one photo up.  I found no attraction to the photo and in fact he reminded me of my 8th grade band teacher. Closed!

I did get a match that was 5’4″. Closed!

There was one that I initiated contact with. His name is Paul and he’s 33. He’s kinda rough around the edges looking. He has tattood sleeves, but he is really cute in the face. I also like that he is a business owner and started his business on his own. I can appreciate that because I also have my own business. He also works out and seems like a real family man. He says “maybe” for wanting more kids. I also recognized him from when I was on POF around the time I met Josh. he may not recognize me because my photos are different on my profile and I am 20 lbs slimmer.

The rest I just did not find any physical attraction to.

Yesterday’s matches updates: It’s also interesting to note that Daniel (golf instructor) viewed my profile last night but he did not close me.) So I am gonna leave him open for now. No sign of Trevor yet. he has not logged in to view me yet.

eHarmony Tally To Date
Total Matches received: 51
Total Matches I closed: 46
Total Matches I contacted: 4
Total Matches that initiated contact with me: 3

So my date with Josh was 2 evenings ago and it really was a perfect date. We first met for coffee and then walked through Cindy Lane to see the Christmas Tree Lights that run about 5 blocks long. Every house is decorated and features different themes. Josh and I were so wrapped up in conversation that we didn’t even really look at the lights. They were just sorta there in the background and to light our path for that evening’s walk and conversation.

Josh has the most amazing eyes I have ever laid my eyes on. They are a grayish blue and he has the eyelashes women would kill for. He is an all around nice guy too. He was seriously swooning me. We sat and talked for about 2 more hours after the walk and it was just so nice to realize how much we have in common and how similar we are personality wise and what we want from the future.

He pays attention to details and conversations we had previously. I was even impressed because he had asked me the night before what my favorite type of candy was. I told him and he ended up buying me a small bag of my favorite candy (peanut butter filled M&Ms) and brought them with him on the date. I was really surprised more by the fact that he actually listened to me and went out of his way to find them.

There was instant attraction to him the minute I laid eyes on him and then as the evening progressed, I was even more attracted to him. Not because he is just so good looking physically but because I could hear the sincerity in his voice and I slowly his heart was being revealed to me.

At the end of the evening he hugged me really tight and didn’t want to let me go. I loved it! He asked if we could go out again and we decided then to meet up again on Sunday (which is today). He was text messaging me yesterday and was trying to lure me out to meet up with him but I was running errands and it just wasn’t going to work out because I also had auntie duty in the evening. I was going to be babysitting my nieces so that my sister and her husband could go to her work’s Christmas dinner party.

We proceeded to text through out the day and at one point told me he actually missed me. It gave me butterflies to hear him say that. I can’t wait to see him again tonight. I will let you know how things go.

So last night I met Dustin at Mimi’s cafe. He is 26 years old, 6’2″ tall and he’s attractive. On an attractive scale between 1-10, he would easily fall into a 7. He had brown hair, green eyes and he had a nice summer tan. He had a gorgeous smile, manly hands and he has an athletic build. Originally; we were just going to sit down for coffee but then he started to ask me what I was going to order in addition to my coffee. So then I thought “Oh hey. I guess we were going to eat now.” Turns out he hates salad, well mainly lettuce. He also hates seafood but that is understandable.

So the first thing that turned me off from Dustin was that he first mentions that he is lazy. He tells me how he is trying to work his way to a more kick back position in the navy.

The second thing that turned me off was him admitting how he cried at bootcamp. I’m all for guys being sensitive some of the time but really you should not tell women that you cried at bootcamp.

The third thing he did was say “Oh yea, my aunt thinks I have ADD”. A red flag went up at this point and I already knew I would not bother dating him.

The fourth and final thing that basically nailed the coffin shut was that he allowed me to pay for myself. That is always my final test on a man. Even if I had a fabulous time with a man and the chemistry was amazing. If you allow me to pay, you are as good as dead. You can have me pay for things once we’re dating and I will certainly offer and mean it. But a man that doesn’t pay on a first date is cheap and is not looking for anything serious otherwise he would try to impress you.

Now it was pretty clear that Dustin was a bit too immature to date an older woman. An older man would have known better to:

a.) not mention that someone thinks he has ADD

b.) not admitted to crying…ever

c.) would have never let me pay for myself.

Now as far as eVow being a good experience. Well Dustin did mention how he is trying to transfer to southern California so clearly starting up a serious long term relationship in any place other than southern California shows he is not thinking in advance.

I haven’t contacted anyone else on evow or seen anyone of interest but I am not writing the site off just yet.

“I need about 15 more minutes until I can leave”, I said as I frantically looked at my alarm clock and then another quick glimpse down at my bare feet.  Yup, going to definitely need to wear running shoes tonight.

“Ok, no problem. See you soon”, said the voice on the other line.

I managed to get done getting ready for my coffee date with Jason in no less than 18 minutes instead of the originally quoted 15. I sent him a final text that said I was leaving and would be there in a few. After I found parking and began to walk across the street my phone rang. I answered it and it was Jason again asking if I was there. I told him I was just crossing the street to the coffee shop and he said ok and that he would meet me out front. I saw a shaved headed, good looking man smile at me and started to walk towards me. I waved at him and he waved back. He greeted me with a big hug. He was handsome…really handsome.

I was kind of  taking a huge chance with him. For one, he did not post a very clear photo of his face so it was difficult to make out what his eyes looked like or if he had a smile; or even teeth for that matter since he was not smiling in his photos. He also wore a hat in every photo on his profile and listed his hair as brown so I was completely shocked to find that he had a shaved head. He was still cute.

He opened the door to the coffee shop for me and we looked over the menu for a few. He paid for my coffee and we started chatting right away. We sat at a little table for two and we had so much to talk about. There was never an odd moment of silence. We talked for a little over an hour and then it seemed as though the coffee shop was starting to close up on us. We walked out of the coffee shop and started walking a few feet away. At some point during the conversation of where to walk to, he pulled me into him quickly as though he was giving me a quick hug.

“Are you hungry?”, he asked.

“Yea, I was so nervous, I didn’t eat”, I replied with a chuckle.

“Nervous? You’re not nervous now are you?”

“No, not anymore”, I said with a smile.

“Do you like Sushi?”, he asked.

“I love Sushi”, I responded.

We walked into a little sushi restaurant and sat at a booth. We ordered and proceeded to have the most engaging conversations. He paid for dinner and when I offered to pay for mine he winked at me and said “You can get it next time”.

Once dinner concluded, he walked me to my car that was in a parking garage about 1/2 a block away. I looked up at him and told him “I had a great time meeting you and I’m not just saying that”. he pulled me in close to him again for a quick squeeze and said “Aww, you’re so sweet”.

Once we arrived at my car, he went to hug me goodbye and he kissed me on the cheek. I told him; “You know I am traditional so I won’t be calling you. So, if you’re interested, you will have to call me”.

With his body still turned towards me he took a few steps back and looked right at me in the eyes and said “I am definitely going to call you”.

It was the perfect first date! I admit, I was totally wrong with my expectations of my date from my first post about Jason here. Now, the waiting game of finding out if this will go anywhere. I’m not calling him Patti. I promise!

I met Jeff last night at a pub in San Ramon, CA. It was a bit of a drive for me but I was ready to meet him. I don’t like getting too close to someone via chatting on Yahoo IM and he had even called me a few days ago and we spoke on the phone.

He did do something rather icky yesterday in which he shared with me a poem he wrote and I found it rather perverted and creepy. I still fail at seeing red flags early on and yet ignore them or justify why I should give him the benefit of the doubt.

I was to meet him at a pub and I accidentally drove to the wrong one. I ended up arriving at the one in Pleasanton, which by the way I had a really good looking guy checking me out there. I wanted to stick around to see if he would come up and talk to me since we had made some very obvious long eye contact. But I was off to meet jeff at the right location.

When we met, I had discovered he was not “athletic” (big shocker there) and that he was about 40 pounds heavier than he led me to believe. I’m find with dating men that have a bit extra weight (like myself) but I am not a fan of being misled.

There was no physical attraction for me. He was nice, a gentlemen and will probably make a really good husband and father for someone but just not for me.

I am a Gemini and apparently Gemini’s are the most superficial which is ironic because I do not think I am miss hotstuff but I just am looking for attraction to someone right away and it wasn’t there for me. maybe a big chunk of that was the dishonesty of the weight.

He walked me to my car and I gave him a hug. he asked me to text message him when I got home to let him know I was safe. I did and he requested that we chat on yahoo. I did and he wanted to know how I felt about the date. I was honest and told him the chemistry wasn’t there for me. I told him I felt really comfortable with him but it was a friends thing and nothing more. He said he was disappointed because he liked me but he understands you cannot force something that is not there.

On my drive home I called my sister to tell her about it and she told me “you are too picky!”.

I then called DE to tell him about the date. I started off telling DE that Jeff reminded me of my friend’s husband (which I am not attracted to at all) and he told me “Damn, you are too superficial”.

I was open to dating someone that didn’t state he was a Christian in his profile, a man that is older than I tend to go for and someone that works for an adult online website. All things that I should have turned away from. I wanted to give Patti’s advice a chance by not judging a person on paper but it just wasn’t there for me. Patti says “The penis does the picking”, well if I had a penis it would not have been excited by this date.

Well, this chick is still searching for her frog prince.

I don’t want to jump the gun and its hard to not start planning out how things will go upon a first date. I do the things that most women do when they first start talking with someone new online. You know, you imagine coming home to him, you can imagine his face when he proposes to you and lays that big fat rock on your hand to announce to the world that you are off the market permanently. You imagine being pregnant with his child and shopping for your first home together.

I have been talking with Jeff, whom I met off of POF, for about a week now. I like him. There’s no denying it. We have yet to meet but from what I have learned from him, he has a lot of qualities I find very attractive. I think he will make a great father some day too. I think we could get along great and just be very happy. I’ve been thinking about what a future could be like with him but the thing I cannot break away from is the religious differences. I have purposely tried to bring up God in a casual manner like “I’ve just been asking God to help with this or that” and he just seems to listen with no remark on it. I do not know for certain if he even believes in God. I know that is something I cannot compromise on. I can deal with someone that maybe doesn’t feel like he is all that connected to God but still believes in Him. But I am pretty certain I could not be with someone that is an atheist. Even though DE is an atheist and an alcoholic, I have found myself attracted to his many other qualities and sometimes felt that if we ever got together that maybe I could overlook the atheist thing but deep down I would be fooling myself.

Patti has said numerous times that religion is not something you can compromise on and when matching she does her best to make sure the two are compatible on that plane. I am breaking her rules about even giving your phone number to a man that does not have your must-haves. Seeing how my #1 on my list was he must be a Christian, I am deliberately not following Patti’s advice. It’s hard. He seems like a good match. of course all of this is just happy-go-lucky images in my head. It may be another story at a face to face meeting. Maybe he wouldn’t be attracted to me or I wouldn’t be attracted to him and then all this confusion and imagining would be for nothing.

As I sit here, freezing to death at my desk while it pours like cats and dogs outside my gut feeling is telling me “Don’t do it. Break away before you get attached.” I don’t want to listen to the voice but I guess I will never know where he stands with God until I just ask him. Of course Patti suggests not to talk about religion right away so I need to find a subtle way to find out the answer to this.

Ok so that title is misleading. I actually facebooked him first. I’m just excited that he facebooked me back. I was playing wink tag with a man on Cupid.com for about 3 weeks now. I had read over his profile a few times and thought he sounded like someone I really would be interested in knowing. he winked at me first, then I winked back. then he winked again like a week later as if to say “Hey, I’m still interested you silly woman. Read my profile again so you can see how to contact me for free”. So I winked back telling him through a preset response “I’m sorry I am not a member will you sign up?” As I am reading over his profile I noticed he snuck in his email address through a very clever method of talking about his hang out spots. So I emailed him and didn’t hear anything. Well several hours later I decided to  check for him on facebook. His email address was his full name and his name seemed rather uncommon so maybe I could find him. He was the only person with his name on facebook! I recognized his photo right away and explained that I decided to try him on facebook in case I messed up his email address.

A week went by with no response so I assumed he lost interest. Today he responded through facebook saying he was out of town for awhile and then we started exchanging messages. I sure hope he doesn’t get bored with me through email exchange so quickly. I know how that goes.

I just returned from the record shortest coffee date I have ever had. It was not even 1 hour long. It was only a 50 minute meeting. All the signs looked good. He immediately told me I looked better in person than my photos. He bought me a coffee and then we sat down to talk. He pulled out my chair for me and I sat next to him. He turned his body towards me while we talked and the eye contact was pretty good. He smiled at me a lot. I think I may have killed the conversation. I asked him if he was a night owl and he said he no he goes to bed at about 9:00pm and then he about 2 minutes later he said “Actually I better get going. I’m getting really tired right now. I’m sorry”. I had a look of shock on my face but I said “Oh ok.” So we hugged goodbye which the hug he gave me was very grandma-like.

I guess he wasn’t into me. Too bad. I was very attracted to him. He did look a lot better in person than in his photos. I don’t want to be killing myself waiting by my phone the next few days to see if he send s me a message. I think the fact that the date was over so quick tells me it is not going anywhere.