I now know for a fact, without a shadow of doubt that my butcher is interested in me. I went in 3x last week and he made an effort to speak to me or wave to me. Earlier this week I went in and he wasn’t able to help me but it was so weird because he walked up and stood next to his coworker who was getting my meat for me and struck up a conversation with me. Like his co-worker didn’t exist. I also found it strange that he made it a point to tell me he had Wednesday off. As if to say it so that I wouldn’t come in that day and miss him.

So today (Thursday) I go in and stock up on my meats to get me through the weekend (I eat ALOT of protein because of my eating plan to help me lose fat). Anyhow, once again he was doing something else and wasn’t able to help me. But he made sure to walk past me and say “hey, how’s it going?” as he was carrying some meat to set up in the meat counter. I answered him and we held eye contact even while he continued to walk down to wear he was going to load up the meat. Then I started looking at some fish seasoning infront of me on the fish counter and the next thing I know he is standing right next to me on the shop floor and not behind the counter like I would have expected. he continued to talk to me for a few and then as we walked towards the cashier he continued to make small talk with me. There was an awkward moment where neither of us had anything to say but just smiled and he said “Well, you have a good rest of the day and….see you next time, ok?”

I just don’t think that butchers without an interest in you would go out of their way to talk to you so much. If I am misreading his friendliness then I don’t know what to say. My woman instincts tell me he likes me. I’m just waiting for him to make his move because I won’t make the first move!

“Hello there. Can I help you with anything today?”, says a tall, thin man with what appears to be strawberry blonde hair peaking out from under his red butcher shop cap. He is really handsome and has dark blue eyes. He’s pretty tan looking for a red head. His voice is deep and smooth and it almost has a country boy sound to it.

This is my first time here.

Oh well, welcome. No better time then now to come on in. Is there anything in particular you were looking for today?

Hmmmm…..I am not sure yet.

He goes into the specials they have right now.

Oh, I have a question.

What’s that?

Do you have meats already cooked? It’s so darn hot lately and I am trying to limit my time in the kitchen.

Oh, I hear you on that. That would be our grill side. Right outside the door and to the left of the building we have our grill. You can buy whole tri-tip, baby back ribs, whole chickens plus there is an entire menu of sandwiches and burritos.

Oh wow! That sounds great. Thanks! (I start to walk down the meat counter away from him and he’s following me)

Oh and did you check out our foods down there on the end? We have some really good twice baked potatoes, some tamales, hot wings and all sorts of all ready prepared and cooked foods. (He is walking down his side of the counter following me still)

Oh, yes I did see them. Thanks. Well, I think I am gonna have a look around.

Ok, great! Let me know if you need anything.

Thanks, I will.

The next customer, an older gentlemen walks up and he starts pours out his friendliness to him. I walk away to check out the seasonings and rubs they have. When I return to the counter I can’t find him. Oh well, so I check out the fish counter and decide I want to get some red snapper.  There is another butcher behind the fish counter and he is finishing up with a customer next to me. I look up from the fish and see the red head guy.

“Decisions, decisions”, he says.

I giggle. “I want some red snapper but I am trying to figure out how much I need. So how much fish would I need for 4 people?”

We talk about fish a bit and gives me the great idea of making fish tacos.

He hands me my fish that he wrapped nicely in butcher wrap paper and tells me thanks for coming in. I thank him for his help and he says no problem.

So, I head out to the grill and buy a BBQ fryer and head home. I couldn’t stop thinking about the butcher all weekend long. I honestly couldn’t tell if he was interested in me or if he was just being friendly.

So fast forward to Tuesday. The butcher had mentioned about a Tuesday tri-tip special they have so I wanted to check it out. Plus, I was out of meats for the week. So, I walk in and I don’t see him anywhere. I get some ground beef and then I head out to the grill. I am standing behind one customer in line and I am looking at the menu. I step infront of the ordering window and I hear a familiar voice behind the darkened screen window say “Oh, hello!”.

I take my sunglasses off and say “Oh hey! I didn’t expect to see you here.”

“Yea, I am over on this side today.”

“Oh cool. Yea, I am awfully tempted by that tri-tip deal”.

“Oh yea, tri-tip is always tempting. Anything to make it easier when it’s hot huh?

So I place my order and he rings me up.  He then leans in the window as he is waiting for the register to spit out my receipt and he asks “So, have any big plans for the day?”

“I just got back from the gym so not really. I work from home in the morning and then I go to the gym in the afternoon.”

“Oh, that’s cool.” He stands upright to get the receipt then hands it to me with a pen.

As I sign it I look up at him and catch him looking at my ring finger that was holding the paper steady and when he catches me looking at my hand, he looks at my face quickly. He tells me my number and then says it will be ready in a few around at the 2nd window.

“Ok, thanks.”

He calls my number and I walk up to the window where he has my order.

“It was really good seeing you again.”

“It was nice seeing you”, I respond.

“See you next time!” he says in his deep smooth voice and smiles at me.

So here I am 2 days later and I need to make another meat stop since I didn’t get enough meat to get me through the weekend and tomorrow is rather busy for me so I won’t have time to stop by, so I had to do it today. I went for a 2 1/2 hour walk with my aunt earlier and I was stinky and the athletic top I was wearing has no chest support at all, so I decided to go home and shower first.

I walked in and can’t see him anywhere. I walk up to the butcher counter and another young man helps me. I am kinda stalling looking around the store before going up to the check out. I pay for my meats and as I grab my bag I look up and see him now at the meat counter. He smiles and waves at me. I smile back and wave, then grabbed my bag and walked out.

So, I know I am probably making up all this in my head that he is interested but, I am really hoping he is. He is just so darn cute!

I’ve never hidden the fact that I am a Christian. Although if you were to read some of my earlier posts, you would probably have never though that. I went through my times of being angry with God for allowing my marriage to fall apart and so I carried on my life as a single without a care in the world about whether God would be pleased with the decisions I made. But things have changed, significantly after the lessons I had learned from dating Josh. I know that God had to discipline me in order to get me back on the right path. Part of that discipline was that the relationship had to end. not only was it not healthy it certainly was not the healthy Christian relationship I have been dreaming of for the past few years. But I am back on track and have been so since my break-up with Josh.

I am still chatting with Mark, whom I have nick-named as “faceless” since I have yet to see a photo. So far the messages we have exchanged has me really intrigued. He seems more like my kind of man. He remembered that I was traveling on Sunday to stay overnight in my old house and then to attend a conference on Monday. What he didn’t know was that the conference was actual a judicial conference. I felt it was an unnecessary detail to tell him right now just because I didn’t want him to think there was a battle for custody. Naive me really thought things were settled in that area but yet I was blind-sided. My ex husband sprung it on me in the conference that he now is seeking full-custody unless I move back. But that is a topic to discuss another day. Back to Mark…We have so much in common it’s erie. He likes hiking, driving along the coast, going to the beach, we like some of the same music , same values and beliefs and we both are the middle child. There is one thing that is major night and day which is that he is not afraid of tackling anything when it comes to adventurous sports like rock climbing, kite sailing, wake boarding, snow boarding, dirt biking, cycling and he even mentioned how he wants to skydive in the future. I on the other hand; am miss cautious and I told him this before he went on to say he enjoyed these activities.

Now when he mentioned these activities I instantly thought “he’s gotta be hot”. Seriously, how many times do you see geeks that are into extreme sports? It’s very rare! But I am concerned that he may be too perfect and the kiss of death will be when I finally see him and am not attracted to him.

Ok, so we had “faceless” aka Mark and then there is “Nameless”. I am speculating his name is Joe since it’s part of his username but I am not certain. We have only exchanged 1 message each and he failed to mention his name in his message. I am hoping that he responds in the morning and tells me his name. Anyhow, Nameless is gorgeous with a capital G. He’s 39 and lives about 40 minutes away. He is very open about his Christian faith and I could see us getting along very well. Not too much has been revealed about Nameless so I can’t say for certain if he is necessarily a good match. All I really know about him are some of his Christian beliefs and that he is very much family oriented.

Now the thought of juggling two men at the same time worries me. I feel creepy doing it although I am technically not dating either of them since we are just exchanging messages. I am feeling more of an instant connection with Mark though but I am scared that once I see his photo, if he is not attractive; it will be a complete let-down as these things usually are. They very rarely turn out good. I mentioned him to my mom and she told me “Maybe God wants you to his heart and that’s why there is no photo yet”. I responded with my witty fast thinking of “But if there is no chemistry, he will not move out of the friends zone”. Just a few hours later Marna also said the same thing as my mom, “Maybe God wants you to see his heart”. I hate that I am superficial, really I do but I can’t help it! I know what attracts me and what doesn’t. I can’t ignore it!

Can you really see a man for his heart? Could you love a man for his heart and slowly become attracted to him?

I have left my profiles up on POF and OKCupid just for the possible chance that something good might come from one of those sites.  I got one of those ” Mr. X wants to meet You” messages from POF which means that some man was using the “Meet Me” function and chose “Yes” or “Maybe” to meet me. So I checked out to see who he was and there is no photo. Ok, so I suppose I will check him out to see what he’s all about. So I am reading his profile and all of the activities he does in his free time are things I also enjoy doing. His height looks good, 6’1″, says he is Caucasian, a Christian, has children but never married and he’s looking for long-term.

So I am staring at his profile and debating whether or not to send him a message and perhaps inquire about his photo. I’m thinking I shouldn’t. I explain to my friend Marna how a guy with no photo is bad news. He’s hiding something! Maybe he is not even remotely attractive or maybe he’s obese. All men put down their body as average even when they are obese. Marna reminds me that there is no harm in meeting people I possibly could click with and if all else fails, maybe make a new friend. She’s right, ya know?! I scan over his profile again and see that he put his body as “Athletic”. Ok, so that means he really is average or he is fit because most guys would just put average but to put athletic means something more. He must work out! Score!!

So I message him Thursday night and didn’t hear back from him until Friday morning. He immediately responds commenting on how refreshing it is to find a strong Christian woman with values on POF. He goes on to tell me a bit about his background and that he was also raised as a Christian. I asked why no photo and he explains how is computer is having problems uploading photos right now but he says hopefully he will have some up soon. I finally tell him my name after a few message exchanges and he then tells me his name is Mark.

So I started to think this man possibly went to my church. There was Mike I had mentioned in my last post and somehow I put it in my head his name was Mark too. They are not the same person. lol So I am still waiting to hear back from Mark and I doubt I will hear from him over the weekend but maybe, just maybe he will respond tomorrow. I really hope I can see a photo of him soon. I had being disappointed and I have had my fair share of incidents in which a guy with no photo felt completely rejected by me when he finally got around to sending me his pic and there was no chemistry. I just want this to be like removing a band-aid quickly. If it doesn’t work, it doesn’t hurt but if you sit there and communicate through media like emails and text messages, it’s easy to fall for someone and get attached. Much bigger let down when you finally meet face to face and there is no physical attraction.

On another note, I started up a prayer group on Facebook that is specifically for single Christian women that feel God is calling them to be married. So, that is really exciting! I actually got the idea from Candice Watters book “Get Married”. You should check it out sometime. It is really encouraging.

I’m not holding my breath about Sean. I’m still just doing my best to let go and let God have a say in my dating life and continue to have faith that God has a husband for me out there.

I did communicate briefly via text message with Sean on Saturday afternoon all because I accidentally mis-texted him. I was texting with a friend and we were talking about how old my nieces were but for some reason my phone can act quirky when you hit to respond to a text and it will bring up an old text thread. Well that’s what happened and so Sean texted back saying he didn’t under stand what I meant by “Turning 11″. I was humiliated and apologized.  We both laughed about it and went back and forth a few messages. He told me Grandma would be calling me later to ask me if I could pick her up. Which she did. So I picked her up for church. She was a crack up as usual. I am not sure why but she basically told me that Sean had recently broken up with his girlfriend.  Ahhhhhhhhh, so this all starts to make since. he had a girlfriend this entire time! Anyhow, I am not holding my breath that anything will happen between him and I.

Yesterday afternoon I received a message on Facebook from my friend Kay at church and she was telling me that I really need to meet Mike. She assured me he is older than I think he is (I told her at first glance of him that he looked too young for me). She said she thinks he is mid-30′s and he has two children with no mom in the picture. She insists that I need to swing by the Sunday school class next Sunday so she can introduce him to me. lol We’ll see.

Another guy I have my eye on is one guy that talked to me at the gym two Saturday’s ago. I purposely arrived at the gym this past Saturday at the same time to try and catch him. I did but I seemed to have caught him at the end of his training session while I was just starting mine. We made eye contact twice but we were on opposite sides of the free weight area so no way to talk. He’s gorgeous. Nice smile and he has some nice body mass. Meaning he has a nice chest and arms. he has tattooed sleeves, green eyes and dirty blonde hair. he’s about 5’9″, so a bit shorty than I prefer but there was just something about him that caught my attention. Anyhow, he didn’t talk to me this time so probably no spark there for him.

In my last post, I briefly mentioned Sean. I decided not to get my hopes up high with him. Now hope is a good thing, in fact we all need hope in life. Hope is what helps us to move forward, to trust in God’s plans for our lives and frankly helps give us the will to press on. But at the same time, I don’t want to get my hopes up because then there is the possibility I will be let down.

So let me update you on what has or has not progressed with Sean over the past week. After my last text exchange with him on the 30th of May, there had been no contact.   I had decided after his last message to me that I was not going to call him up on the next Saturday to check-in and see if his grandmother wanted a ride to church. Instead, I was going to leave the ball in his court. My friend Marna keeps reminding me that men like to chase and so if he is interested, I need to let him chase! Well Saturday arrives and frankly all day I had not even thought about the possibility of Sean contacting me about his grandmother. I pretty much wrote him and his grandma off after that last text exchange. At 8:00pm I got a text message that said:

“Hi single mom dating, are you going to church tomorrow?”.

Now, I didn’t want to seem like I was waiting by the phone for him to contact me even though my cell phone is literally glued to my palm but I wanted to be cool so I waited about 2-3 minutes and just responded with a short but crafty answer of “yes”.

He responds with: Awesome, do you think you can take my grandma tomorrow? She asked me to ask you. I have to work tomorrow.

I respond with: Sure. Tell her I will be there at about 10:15-10:20.

He says: Awesome, thanks!

I say: You’re welcome.

So Sunday morning I am on my way to pick her up and I get lost. They live in a brand new housing development that has not been updated with GPS yet. So I have to call him. He gives me directions and tells me she is still getting ready and I tell him it’s no problem. So I arrive and she is already outside walking down the driveway. I help her in my SUV and she is just too cute. She weighs all of 85 lbs and has a little short black shirt on with a slit on the side.  She starts telling me how she thinks the slit is in the wrong place etc. I sit with her in church and we talked for a bit before service started. After service, she is following behind me as I try and lead us towards the car and we get stopped due to people stopping and greeting one another infront of us. One of the people stopped infront of us happens to be one of the new single men I spotted in church a few weeks ago. Since he was literally right next to me less than a foot away, this would have been my opportunity to introduce myself as a member of the church and acknowledge he is new but with grandma behind me, I didn’t want to give her the impression I am into macking on the single men at church; afterall I am curious to see what will come of Sean if anything.

I almost came off rude as I looked at him (his name is Mike which I found out from another member that greeted him infront of me) we made direct eye contact and yet I looked away quickly. I feel like a jerk! Oh well. The damage as been done.

So I take grandma home and say goodbye to her. Of course Sean was not there since he was working and I was wondering should I call Sean and let him know she is home? I decided not to since I don’t want to be viewed as some sort of stalker.

Anyhow a few hours later I received a text message from him and he was just asking thanking me and asking if she behaved. It made me laugh. Then about 30 minutes later he sent me another message that was much more detailed about how she has been asking alot about God and has been telling him for weeks she wants to go to church. We exchanged about 2 more messages about her and the church and that was it.

So, I am trying to not read into any of this or get my hopes up about him but at the same time, maybe she will start talking about me to him and it will peak his interest.

I did enjoy spending time with his grandma. She’s spunky and just too cute for words! I look forward to getting to know her and eventually I’d like to call her a friend and maybe take her to lunch some Sunday to hear more about herself. So yes, I am dating Sean’s grandma! haha!

I am just focusing on praying for God’s will to happen and for me to step back. I’ve always been the one to poke and push at getting the ball rolling when it comes to my dating life but for now, I am gonna sit back, relax for once and let God do his thang!

Just a few weeks before starting my eHarmonly log, I started to feel as though the man for me is just not online. Like he’s not on an online dating site, I’m not gonna meet him on Facebook or on a forum that I like to frequent. I dunno, I’ve just been having this feeling in the pit of my stomach that I am gonna meet him in the real world. I don’t go to bars or clubs so I know it wouldn’t be in a place like that. I feel like I am gonna meet him either at my church, through a friend or possibly my gym.

Over the past 3 weeks there have been several new single men sprouting up at my church and I don’t know if that is God’s way of just saying “See what I can do? Trust me and I will bring him to you!”. Two Sundays ago, I was introduced to a new single at my church named Sean. He is strikingly handsome. He has a smile and a face you just can’t forget. He looked really familiar to me. I knew I recognized him from a dating site, either POF or OKC. So I created an account on POF (I had deleted my old one) and sure enough, I found him. Found out he is 36 years old and he’s an Aquarius. Say what? No, God please no. Not another Aquarius. I have pretty much swore off Aquarius men have my last relationship going sour with an Aquarius. But I didn’t wanna judge Sean off of my ex-douchebag. Anyhow, Sean had mentioned that his grandmother really enjoyed my church but that he works every Sunday so he can’t take her. My girlfriend whom was standing next to me nudged me as if to say “volunteer Sara”!

So I did. I offered. Sean and I exchanged phone numbers and he gave me his address. Well, Saturday night I had decided to call to double check if she still needed a ride and he had said that he ended up with Sunday off and that he was going to take her to his old church. We then chatted on the phone about our experiences with churches for about 10 minutes and then we hung up but before we did he had mentioned about her probably being interested in going back to my church the following Sunday.

Being the impatient woman that I am, Sunday afternoon I sent him a quick text message mentioning a subject we had talked about on the phone. He had responded a few minutes later telling me his grandmother really liked his church too and that they went out for lunch and then he wished me a nice holiday weekend. I responded back telling him to have a nice weekend too and that was the last we have spoken.

I’ve pretty much made up my mind he is not interested in me at all because now that I had opened the door to communicate via text message, if he liked me he would have pursued the conversation. (Here I go into analyzing mode as usual). I have also decided that I am not going to call next Saturday to check and see if his grandmother wants a ride. I am leaving it up to him to contact me. My friend Marna reminded me that men like to chase and so I have to let him take initiative. I also think that if I call to check-in, they both might feel like they are obligated to come to our church and that I am “harassing them”. maybe it’s just God giving me discernment about the situation but it’s how I have decided to handle the situation.

Anyhow, I am still playing with the idea that God is gonna bring me a man in the real world and not via online methods. Since Sean was on POF (where I had seen him originally) I think that would count as him being online, so maybe Sean is not the one God intends for me to have anything to do with. He sure is handsome though…..

I’m trying to get my mind off of my relationship with Josh or at least distract me for the moment. My son’s birthday party is in 2 weeks and it is a carnival theme but we are making it Mario Kart wii themed as well. Josh has the entire week off before the party and he is suppose to be building some of the games needed for the carnival such as a balloon dart board game, a bean bag toss and we are going to have a game where the kids try and toss a ping pong ball into certain cups.

I ordered a bunch of prizes from The Oriental Trading company. The hardest part was looking for Super Mario birthday party supplies. I basically had no option but to purchase them online. Luckily I was able to order these cute Mario Kart Wii Birthday Plates , Mario Kart Wii Printed Birthday Tablecover and these Mario Kart Wii Mylar Balloons which will help make the theme look more Super Mario in nature.

Now is my other issue…a Super Mario pinata. There seems to only be Super Mario pinatas that have the pull string; which I absolutely hate and really takes away from the entire Mexican tradition of the pinata and since we are Mexican, I am not about to do the tradition injustice.  Then there was the cheap looking pinata that just seems to have stapled a plate to it in order to call itself a Hand Crafted Super Mario Bros Piñata . So as I was browsing online I found this awesome tutorial for making an authentic Super Mario Pinata. I really love this tutorial and so I plan on keeping myself busy (and my mind off Josh and how little time I will have to see him) this weekend by making it.

My budget for the party was $200. I think I am at $150 so far and I still have to pay for the supplies for the carnival games, which shouldn’t be all that much and I need to pick up some chocolate gold coins to place onto the cupcakes I am gonna be making. I’m gonna have to track down a good buttercream frosting recipe so that I can manage to make some decent looking cupcakes so that the coins can actually adhere to the frosting with.

I am also gonna make a Super Mario themed cupcake stand and I also bought this cute Super Mario Brothers: Desktop Sofbi Series Fire Mario 8 to top off the center of the stand so it will look something like the photo below.

I’ll be sure to post photos of all the creations and the party setup later.

It’s Valentine’s Day and for the first time in 6 years, I have a Valentine. For the first time in 6 years I do not hate Valentine’s Day. I didn’t have to grumble to myself and think “Wow, another V-Day alone” or think of some way to avoid the stores today that would be filled with last minute shoppers frantically buying mushy Valentine cards for their significant others. I was able to take my time shopping for the perfect card for Josh and it did take me 2 different stores and nearly 40 minutes at each to find the perfect one. I lucked out at Target by spying the last box of heart shaped York peppermint Patties which are his all-time favorite candies.

I have someone that loves me and adores me and did something nice for me. I returned home from running errands this afternoon to find a beautiful Valentine Flower bouquet on the kitchen table. The best part about this bouquet was not only was it beautiful but that it contained 2 of my favorite flowers that Josh had asked me about, about a week and a half ago; which is a star gazer lily.

This man not only loves and cares for me but he really listens to details. I think just about any other guy would have just picked out red roses but Josh specifically had asked what flower was my favorite and made sure it was included in the arrangement.

Now, Josh and I had already discussed days ago that we wouldn’t be spending Valentine’s day or even night together since I didn’t have a sitter for my son. My parents were going out for a nice dinner and I didn’t want them to feel they had to sacrifice their day as a couple in love in order to let Josh and I go out. My son goes to his father’s this weekend so we had planned on just doing our Valentine’s Day sometime this next weekend. I told Josh that I had wanted to do fondue for dinner. The only problem is no fondue pot. I sold the 2 I had at a yard sale during my move thinking I wouldn’t need them. I am thinking about running out to Ross or Tuesday mornings to see if I can find a cheap one stashed in the home decor areas.

We will probably end up doing our Valentine’s dinner on Sunday night because Josh has to work Friday and Saturday night. I’m spending the entire weekend with him but I don’t actually get to be with him the entire time since he will be working both Friday and Saturday. I do get to spend Monday all day with him though since he has that day off of school and my son will still be with his father.

It’s been 2 months since I have had anything to report. Oh, I have had plenty of prospects contacting me from POF but no one really seemed to catch my interest. One guy was a single father whom I speculate wasn’t divorced yet considering he has a 5 month old baby girl and he stopped talking to be when I inquired on his divorce. I continue to get many messages form men that contain no substance and a few messages in which the sender is screaming at me with the Caps lock on.

Just a few days ago a man named Josh contacted me. I had seen his profile many times but never contacted him thinking he someone would not be interested in me. I am glad he finally got the nerve up to message me. We are going to have our first date tonight (yes it is 12 am as I am writing this). Anyhow, he seems to be the type of man that I am looking for. the new type I have set out to find since my move back home. Yes, my expectations in men have changed. I have raised them! I am trying hard to not get my hopes up for the fear of being disappointed but I realize I can’t continue to be so pessimistic. Perhaps I will spend another Christmas as a single and  maybe, just maybe I will not be alone this Christmas. Stay tuned to find out about my date with Josh.