Shawn and I were enjoying our evening phone conversation and had only been on the phone for about 10 minutes when I heard my phone notify me of an email but I ignored it because I wanted to enjoy my conversation with Shawn. We talked for nearly two hours and at the last 10 minutes Shawn decides to tell me that there was a bit of drama regarding his sister and his ex girlfriend the past 2 nights.
Apparently his sister had a run-in with his ex-girlfriend and within minutes, the ex started crying to Shawn’s sister about how much she still loves him and how hard this is. He then proceeded to tell me how she was texting him all night prior to him calling me in which she was saying:
“I am still so in love with you”
“I realize now how much I messed up”
“We are so good together”
“This is so hard for me to deal with”
Shawn said he debated on answering her back or ignoring her. He said about 20 long messages later, he responded telling her to lose his number and that he already stated he couldn’t talk to her anymore.
I trust Shawn and during this conversation it came up that I did trust him. We said good night and hung up. I checked my phone and was shocked to see a notification of “Jennifer XXXX wants to be friends on Facebook”.
And coincidentally another woman added me at the same time. Right away I texted Shawn telling him his ex-girlfriend that he just talked about with me, tried to add me to Facebook and asked if he recognized the name of the other woman. He confirmed he knew it was his ex’s best friend. I immediately blocked them both. Shawn apologized and just said “What are those crazy girls up to?”
I explained to him that we women are curious about the new woman that replaces us. We want to know if they are uglier, prettier, thinner or fatter than us. I told him that on Facebook, when you either send a message to someone or send a friend request, you get treated like a friend of the person’s profile which grants you temporary access to view everything that their friends are allowed to see. So she was able to see all my photos, wall posts and friends. He apologized again for it and we went to bed.
All day today I have felt totally violated, afterall it took me two hours after she had sent the request last night to receive it which gave her 2 hours to run crazy reading every post I had tagged Shawn in, check-ins with him or photos of us. She now knows that we are going to be staying in a cabin in the snow in February.
She Facebook stalked me. I didn’t invite this woman into my life. I didn’t invite her to get to know me, to know my likes and dislikes and I certainly didn’t invite her to check out my photos which some feature my son. She pried her way into my life like a stupid high school teen playing stupid high school drama.
I told Shawn that my concern is that if she hasn’t gotten over him after 6 months, how long is she gonna continue to try contacting him?! I honestly don’t know how much I can take of her text messaging him and although he says he won’t message back, what if she just continues to push his buttons and makes him feel guilt that he politely responds to her. With every response, she will just gather a little bit more hope that maybe he will come around again and give her a second chance.
As we talked about this all tonight, he continuously apologized and said that he can’t control her actions or how she handles all this. He does accept fault for her behaving this way because of how up until 3 weeks ago he was still being cordial with her via text. He understands if I feel insecure and annoyed right now and he says I don’t deserve his ex girlfriend drama. He swears he won’t let this drama create a wedge in-between us.
I love Shawn. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I would marry him in a heartbeat but with this ex drama coming up every few weeks, I am afraid it might make me rethink all this. I don’t want his ex to ruin something that is so wonderful. I won’t give her that power to steal my happiness with him but I don’t know how to get over this either.
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