Single Mom Dating: Dump the Ex’s Mother

Last night I was browsing my favorite dating site and within a minute I received a message answering my ice breaker message that I have on my profile. My ice break question is “What celebrity do you think I look like?”.

It all started about 3 years ago when a friend on a forum said that I looked like Eva Mendes. I totally blew it off and laughed about it until I went on a date with a guy and he said “I don’t want this to like go to your head or anything but you  kinda look like Eva Mendes.” So after getting those 2 comments I figured it couldn’t just be a line. Anyhow, that ice breaker has lead to about 10 random men messaging me and all answering with Eva Mendes.

Anyhow, so this 23 yr old responds, his name is Jason by the way, and he answers “Eva Mendes, am I right?”. So we go abck and forth talking about that topic for a bit and then he says “So my age doesn’t bother you?” Now, YOU know how I really feel about this subject. Younger men scare me. They still do and still will. 10 years younger definitely concerns me but I’ve been single for quite sometime now and I need to stop prejudging men just for their age but my main concern is maturity. yes, yes I am fully aware that age doesn’t make a man and that there are plenty of 20 year olds far more mature than most 30 year olds…blah, blah, blah. I get it but somehow my conscious just won’t let me get past the thought that most are probably going to be immature.

He starts with “so tell me about your relationship with your ex because my last relationship didn’t sit well with me and her relationship with her ex”. So I begin to give him the details on how my ex is engaged and that we are civil to one another etc. He then sorta spurts out how it sits uneasy with him that I am close to my son’s grandmother (the ex’s mother). Little red flags start to go off as he tells me this. Like he would want me to decide between a man and my son’s grandmother, only in not so many words. I am not best friends with my ex’s mother but I will always maintain a respectful relationship with her. So what if she asks my son and I to go out for lunch once every few months. So what if she still sends me birthday cards and gives me presents at Christmas. She stands by the fact that no matter what has happened between her son and I, I will always have a place in her heart. She cares for my well being like that of her own daughter. yes, the new wife is going to have hard shoes to fill. Especially when she has already put my son’s life in danger and announces an engagement after a 2 month relationship. Of course that is all going to sit uneasy with her. In her eyes I was the one that was “done wrong to”.

We are close but we are not best friends that chat all the time and hang out all the time. When I pick up my son from a visit with her we do chat. Sometimes she asks if I am dating anyone because she is concerned foe me but that is about the end of personal conversations. There is no way I would cut off my son’d grandmother just because some guy didn’t like that I was still cordial and friendly to an ex’s family member. That right there is immature. The only person I would care to cut off is a person who started prohibiting whom I can and can’t talk to. Simple as that!

I dodn’t go off on him about it but I did tell him “She is my son’s grandmother and she is family and I don’t plan on changing my relationship with her”. He merely responded with “i see and does that mean I am out of the running now”. I’m not sure about this guy and because I am not sure, I should probably forget him before things got complicated.

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