I decided to write this post out of frustration. Since returning to Okcupid, I find myself hooked to the site once again. I was logging in at least once an hour to check my messages or see who has checked out my profile (until I finally downloaded the okcupid Firefox plug-in that notifies you of messages in your browser). I dunno, I just couldn’t help but be on the site browsing profiles or comparing my answers to questions with people that I might make a good match with.But anyhow I’ve been talking with 3 guys recently on the site. One was a 25 year old man named Caleb, one is a 25 year old professional named Tyler and the other is a 31 year old man named Pat. None of them live in California.
Caleb
Now Caleb is handsome and seems to have a nice grounded family. He rates himself of high esteem and confidence. Caleb has not had sex yet. This doesn’t bother me…at first.
The next thing I know I am getting bombarded with questions about my sexual partners and experiences. Then he asks if we could maybe “cyber” cause he is really curious.
At that point, I decide to walk away from him. I tell him I gotta go. The next day he messages me asking if he can talk to me. He then starts saying how lonely he is and how much he wants me to be his first. *red flag* Caleb is coming off way too needy. There is no mystery to Caleb. I got him figured out. He hasn’t had sex not because of his religious practices but because he has no or low self esteem. Women reject him because he is not aggressive enough to make him desirable. So would i date a virgin? No. remind me to change that on Okcupid later.
Pat
Now right away, Pat would seem like the more serious one to get involved with; even if it would start off as long distance thing. He seemed very intelligent in his profile and even in the several messages we exchanged. Over the past 2 days we moved from message exchanges on okcupid over to chatting on yahoo IM. As mentioned before, I pretty much hate moving over to yahoo as a method to get to know a romantic interest. Either the other party things it is an open invitation to try and get you to have cyber sex or the conversation goes completely dead as you find you have nothing more to talk about. I started off losing interest in Pat as soon as he started emoting thinks like grabs your hand or thinks about kissing you. Really? Are you kidding me? Do you honestly think I want to have a cyber connection like this??? Oh but it gets much worse…
The very next morning I turn on my computer and get ready to start my work for the day and instantly I get a message on yahoo. Now to be fair, I only keep my yahoo IM on to communicate throughout the day with my other friends that are doing the same work from home that I am. Anyhow Pat messages me. I respond and of course after not being so engaging in conversation with him as I was the previous night; according to him. I explain to him that I don’t really like to chat on yahoo throughout the day while I am working. I explain how I am not attentive because I am too focused on my work load for the day. He swears he understands and doesn’t mind my slow responses. Now after a few hours in the morning, I actually had to go work at my real job. So I left for work and came home completely beat. Guess who messages me almost as instantly as he sees my status is no longer idle?? Pat! I figure I better just give him the benefit of the doubt but do you know what he does next? I made one small typo in my yahoo message to him and he corrected it! Are you serious? You are seriously going to correct my typo?? he had completely turned me off at that point. I didn’t want to talk to him so I wasn’t really spending anymore. The next thing I know he says “you know I feel as though i am asking all the questions?” Really?? Do you possibly think its because I have no interest??? I explain to him that I am tired and I try to do my best to just get offline.
This morning as I prepare to work, guess who messages me on Yahoo? Pat! Again he makes a comment about me not being chatty. I explain to him once again that I had already told him that I do not like to chat during the day on yahoo while I am working. He makes a remark about his school schedule coming up. (He’s graduating this year). And followed up by a “but I really don’t know what to do after”. I am not sure what I want to do with my life at that point. *red flag*
Tyler
Meanwhile; last night while trying to figure out how to escape Pat, I receive a message from one good looking 25 year old in Illinois. He’s fun and I can goof off with him through messages easily. He has a great sense of humor and I enjoyed chatting with him. Of course the next thing I know he starts getting sexual with me. *red flag* I say good night to him and log off.
And to top it off I have a stalker who obviously hasn’t gotten the hint after me not responding to his now, 7 messages in the past 3 weeks. his last message was “Why have you blocked me? What does it take to be your friend?” Uh, how about you get a damn hint ding dong?! Learn some social skills when it comes to women because you are obviously misinterpreting my lack of responding to your messages as a sign to continue to write me in hopes that just maybe I didn’t receive the first 6.
Ok men listen up really carefully. This is solid advice to help you not scare off a woman.
- Do not come on too strong and too clingy
- If a woman does not reply to your message. She is NOT interested. Trust me fool! If she was interested, she would respond to your message instantly and without hesitation.
- If your intention is to cyber-sex. Move on! Women do not like that crap. If she wanted to get off, she could easily walk her ass down to the local bar and get with any guy in there. She doesn’t need your pathetic attempt of using sexy chat to turn her on.
- Get a fricken spine or at least fake it. Do not tell her crap like “I don’t know what to do with my future” or “I’m lonely and women just don’t appreciate a good man like me”. Women like men that are confident, have direction in life and are clear on setting goals for the future. No smart grown woman wants to get with a man who acts like a freshman in college when deciding what to major in.
Sorry if I seem harsh. I am just tired of the BS crap men pull on dating sites. Maybe I am partially frustrated because the more and more I see the crap that’s out there, the more I realize I just want to be with DE.
Ok I am done ranting. Back to okcupid to see what moron will message me next.
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