Single Mom Dating: The Ex and I Weren’t Fireproof

I went to visit my parents this past weekend so that we could celebrate my son’s birthday at his favorite place in the world; John’s Incredible Pizza Co. I can see why he loves it. There is so much for kids to enjoy there. They have bumper cars, a ferris wheel, a bouncing drop-type ride, laser tag, virtual bowling and a ton of videogames. Not to mention they have a buffet with about 20 types of pizza. Some of them sound absolutely disgusting though, like macaroni and cheese pizza and peanut pizza in which the decor ontop of the pizza is just a plain peanut still in its shell.

Whenever I visit my parents I feel a torment of emotions. I am happy to be with them and around my family but I am also reminded of how much alone I am. We watched “Fireproof” and that movie was a bitter pill to swallow. It was the story of my marriage. Kirk Cameron was playing my ex and his wife was me to the “T”. I cried so much during that movie, not so much because the movie was really moving but because I couldn’t have the “fireproof” ending. Instead I am sitting here blaming God on why didn’t he perform a miracle in the lives of my ex and I;  instead I have to deal with feelings of confusion on what God wants me to do

I don’t think about my ex much these days and I certainly don’t ponder on any olf flames for him but EVERYTIME I visit my family now, it seems I dream of him non-stop and then he is off and on my mind the rest of the weekend. He is engaged…yes I am aware of this. I just can’t explain it. It makes me hesitate about even going down to visit again in a few weeks for my nieces birthday just so I can avoid in more confusion a weekend of dreams will bring. Why can’t I just meet Mr. Right?

Then there was the phone conversation I had lastnight with my ex’s mother. She still is not accepting of this new relationship my ex has and she basically told me that her and her family continue to pray that God will bring us back together. As much as I would love to believe that God can do miracles, and I know he can, I just feel like this one is a lost cause. We are just two very different people…and more so now.

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Tagged as: Christianity, Fireproof, Kirk Cameron, Religion and Spirituality